I've given all I have

"It's not about getting, it's about giving." Very famous quotes we may hear growing up
another I've read recently "Love is not a desire to get something but to give."
It's very true and I whole heartily agree, but lately I feel like I've given all I can without getting anything in return... I'm running on empty. You can give and give and give, but if there's nothing ever coming back, you sort of lose the will to give anymore... you've run the race and aren't replenished after, you're going to collapse...
I feel like I care about soo many people that don't put in the effort. I know people are always busy and I do way too good of a job keeping in touch... but should somehow have to go months before they realize they miss you or want to contact you? I mean if it's months that pass by before you miss someone, you probably aren't that close to them...
So many people mean a lot to me that I know I won't mean as much to them... but I feel like I have to continue to let go and not care quite as much. It's too hard when they don't return the love and you are left feeling all alone. It may be why people don't take chances, they don't put their heart out there b/c it gets crushed. But the truth is people will always let you down, God's the only one who will always be there.
There are people in my life I know will be there for me no matter what. because people should be there all the time, not just when the going gets tough, you need them there to laugh with you too. Unfortunately it seems like a hard time for me and some of my close friends. We are all going through so much that it's hard.
I don't know what God has in store for me of for them but i'm trusting in Him, to help us through and bring us to a better place, so that we might stand a top the hill and look down and see all that we have conquered and fought towards to get there.
He always places people in my life for a reason and gives the encouragement I need, the hard part is knowing when their time is over. When God is done using them. It doesn't mean I've stopped caring about them but it might mean it's time for our paths to part ways and to merely think of all they've taught and meant to us instead of trying to keep in contact with everyone in the world. :P
As far as me and my friends go... I hope all the crap that is happening now means that things will look up in the future? That's all we can hope for. God is using all of this to better us in the future and make us stronger.
I need to get to a place where I can grow... I'm living in such a toxic environment I'm suffocating on dry land. We can only do so much, as one person and I feel sorry for those who don't have God... b/c honestly I don't know what would get me through the day. What hope I would have to cling on to if it weren't for Him. What would I have to look forward to or have a promise that one day it will be better and that in the end Heaven is so worth it.
I'm sure one day life is going to be amazing and I'll sit back and think wow what did I do to deserve this or have my life be this good... at least I hope I reach that point someday... but until then I have to trust that God has me here for a reason, despite the hardships and difficulties, He will carry me over the sand.
that's all for now....

Something I've noticed

You know what's funny... people always want to stay in touch with people... they write keep in touch or it's great to hear from you... but I never get that...
granted it's b/c i overly stay in touch with people but still it would be nice if people actually responded. I guess sometimes the people you would like to stay in touch with don't feel the same... but the ones that do are the ones that matter... everyone else's loss. :P
and I never post on here... b/c like I said no one reads it :P I just use it to read other's and leave comments :)
Can't wait til school starts!!! Top of my nursing class here I come!!! :0